Most, if not all, of us have at some point or another harmed people with the condemnation of our words and attitudes. Putting on trial not only the actions and inaction of others, we’ve also condemned their preferences, feelings, and ideas. There is objective good and objective evil. There is fact and fallacy. There is knowledge and ignorance, wise perspective and foolish naivety.
I was talking with one of my favorite people this week on the topic of worship (music, cultural styles, etc). Funny how things work, spirits connect, and ideas align. She’s been processing the boundaries of personhood, and its implications. I have been processing the neglect of recognizing and training critical tendencies. Ideas lined up and clicked together like two pieces of a human puzzle that had been sitting on the table for months in front of me, unnoticed. Every human alive is undergoing change: change of body, mind, and circumstance, among other things. But we also have those comfortable, familiar places of sameness that we go back to, that we long for, that we cling to. It may be old hymns set to precisely executed organ music, or a hot cup of coffee in the afternoon. It may be avoiding direct communication by backing quietly out of a conversation, allowing the pleasant loneliness of self-isolation or the familiar, unpleasant condemnation of others wrap around us. It may be grabbing a Drink or many and disappearing into the distracting buzz of aimless chatter, free from the worries and obligations of life. Any one of us could come up with long lists of common “safe” places, with plenty of good, bad, and in between comforts and habits that feel near and necessary to us. When we know ourselves vaguely, we cannot know and love others or ourselves well. When we know our preferences and ideas strongly but are blind to our quirks and relational tendencies, we cannot love others or ourselves well.
When we analyze and criticize the efforts of others, their performances, speech habits and patterns, teaching styles and lessons, values, and personalities, let us try to keep in mind as we form our opinions, the fact that usually people’s comfort places largely influence their ideals and preferences. And it is the same with ourselves.. You cannot make a judgement of another without exposing and involving yourself and your own values. When humans judge, it is a bilateral business. None of us are over the other. When judgements come from next door, those judgements rebound, opening up the judge’s heart and values. And though that judgement may be a silent, unintentional judgement, it’s obvious to those who are watching.
Having a discerning spirit is a gift. Critical analytical skills are a gift. Being aware enough of a situation to see how things could be improved, can be a very helpful and needful thing. But don't step forward without reading the warning: If this is you, be wary. You could be standing at the brink of a consuming lake of negativity and bitterness. And you could be pulling others to the edge with you. Consume not, and be not consumed.
My thoughts have been stopped here for a while, tossing and turning restlessly. But, my Savior doesn’t allow for stagnation of ideas- He exposes and brings life. Why did I stay in this dejected place for so long, ironically trapped in the same negative cycle as those I was observing?! Are the critical spirits around me (and possibly myself as well) doomed to be unsatisfied, unkind, and unjoyful because of their dispositions?? Are those who live with and around them doomed to be eternally inadequate and ashamed, working endlessly for approval, living in dejection of spirit? I don’t think so. I've reached the conclusion that we have sorely neglected our critical spirited children, brothers and sisters. Sometimes by ignoring their gifts, sometimes by shaming them for the abuse of their gifts, but without the love of appreciation and guidance. We've seen them at the edge of darkness, or fumbling around in murky waters, but haven't tried to pull or guide them out. There needs to be a new approach, a new perspective, a more gracious pedagogy, and a more hopeful practice. Intentional, open-hearted training.
I fully believe that there is a world of joy waiting for those of us who possess these dispositions, even those of us who may feel plagued by our own "negative bents." There is a world all around us that is desperately waiting for critical people to use their gifts to see all that is good and beautiful around them. If you possess a spirit of noticing, a tendency of pointing out, look around and notice, speak up and point out. You have the potential and gifting to exhort and encourage in good and great ways. Harness that energy and see life with it. Direct that energy and bring life with it.
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