Ouch. I hate few things more than the times when I have impatient outbursts at my kids, the times when I’m irritable and unkind. The only thing that plagues me more in the realm of parenting is this: all the loving good I could pour into my childrens’ lives, all the fun times we could spend together learning and playing, if only I wasn’t too tired, moody, busy, and/or distracted.
There are many practices that can help us parents. Time in self-examination, repentance, God’s Word, prayer, and Christian fellowship are key. Counseling and appropriate meds can also be very important. These things can be helpful, along with investigating the wisdom of other experienced parents. I’m not going to write about these things today.
I’ve read, received, and attempted applying (to the best of my inadequate abilities) many parenting tips and tricks. Of all the parenting advice I’ve come across, I have yet to discover solutions for the frazzled parent who is lacking sleep, physical energy, and emotional resources.
While I’d love to write an entire blog post about why we as frazzled, exhausted parents should be excused to be as impatient and irritable as we usually are, I think I won’t. Nor will I write a blog post on how to be a positive, nice parent, running off of evanescent ideals and hold-it-together happiness.
I’m not going to spend time deep diving into how finding the right, expensive counselor or drug will save you from all of your impatient, unkind tendencies and unhealthy responses to stress. Nor do I plan to tell you how getting in the most prayerful, spiritual routine will solve your mental and emotional fatigue and distress.
Changing your personality and emotional needs could definitely be helpful. Rearranging your entire life structure would potentially be life changing. I highly suggest sleeping. You know, try not carrying the emotional burdens of parenthood for a while- try avoiding the stressful situations in which your childrens’ feelings are exploding all over everyone in your household (or worse: all over everyone in a public setting). Take a break from worrying about money and all that providing stuff. Don’t overtax your mind with too many burdens, like whether all the kids have brushed their teeth twice today, or if all fifty fingernails in your home have been trimmed recently enough. Focusing on food right now probably isn’t a good idea either. That’s OK though- your kids should be fine not eating for a week or so while you get it together.
Tired, strung-out, irritable, worried parent. God is a good Father. In my experience, it is usually in the moments when my weakness feels inescapable that I am reminded of how incapable I am of making myself and my children good. Rest in Him: He is in the business of redeeming mess. When you fail yourself and your kids, don’t give up hope. We are all children living in a messy world, but our Heavenly Father loves us, forgives us, and will remain with us. Next time you catch yourself dwelling in painful retrospection or morbid self-defeat, look up. Remember that God is the only truly good parent, and that He loves all of His children perfectly.
And come hang out.
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