Love. What is it? What does it mean to love? To show love is to show special kindness. To fall in love is to become especially aware of someone; to find oneself particularly appreciative of another person’s intricacies, and particularly concerned for their wellbeing. Love is patient and hopeful. The deeper in love we become, the more distressed we are when the object of our love is in distress. When they are overwhelmed or plagued by harmful thoughts and habits. The truer love is, the longer it lives.
Human-ness: matter and density, shape and propensity; pushing its way through space, fluctuating to adapt to its surroundings, but stubbornly framed and sustained by a God-given name. Not a tree to lean on, because shifting cells and molecules can’t support and sustain like a Being who doesn’t change.
Our love is not stationary. Its substance shifts and fluctuates, changing with our bodies as we shift through horror and happiness. To be loved is to be known and deeply cared for, to receive special kindness and affection. But no human can be the foundation or motivation of a stable, life-lasting love, because so often we are spinning. We are moving targets, slinging deadly darts, seeing ourselves in the bullseye of the other’s rings. Trying to produce and sustain a stable, true, love, desperate to find it in another.
You can emotionally and physically die for someone without loving them. You can speak well and have a brilliant mind and diplomas and titles to boot, understanding every situation and application. You can be present, persistent, passionate. Without loving. Nothing hates like arrogance. And envy. Irritability and resentment, pride and cruelty. Anger. Infidelity of hope. Damn.
Giving love from a broken heart to broken hearts, is brutal. Because it’s broken. Because we are full of anger and arrogance, jagged glass edges. Because we are empty and hurting. My heart is no source of love. We cannot love each other well from a well of loneliness and need.
Love is a round, whole, good substance. When it enters, it fills, flooding the mind and body, enlightening the soul. When it’s pressed into us, we absorb it. The cells and molecules of our spirits expand and take new shape. When love circulates through our minds, bodies, and souls, dark, stale pools of decay begin to breathe and flush. This is gross, but necessary. God is Love. The invigorating power of His love is as steady as the energy of the sun, and it is not bound or limited by anyone. But it can spread through anyone.
In this world, to love is to die. To die a thousand deaths, to lose, willingly, a thousand battles. To allow your heart to be shattered into a thousand pieces. Because it defies the density of our sin-hardened substance. It re-shapes us. It demands change, it forces our stagnant places to circulate. Like CPR, the hands of God’s love crushes our pride, repetitively, forcing out stale breath. The breath of His love wakes us up. Like a splash of cold water or blindingly brilliant light, when we wake up to His love, we’re confounded. His special kindness shocks the sloth of our hearts and confuses the blindness of our pride. So whole. So good. So true. Unchanging.
He is patient and kind; He does not envy us or boast to bring us down. He is not arrogant or rude in His consideration of us. He is humble. He is not angry or resentful against us. He does not take pleasure in our brokenness and failures, but He does rejoice in our honesty. He bears all things for us, and endures with us to eternity, knowing us fully, giving us reason to believe and hope.
If your lot feels like death right now, come to Christ and tell Him. Be honest. If trying to love your spouse is leaving you empty and hungry, come lean on the Tree of Life and fill yourself with His words of life. If trying to love your children is leaving you desperate and devastated, bring your dehydrated spirit to the well of God’s faithfulness, and drink deep. If trying to love yourself is leaving you dying, give yourself to Jesus. Believe in His promises, trust His character.
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