Why do we do it? Why do we even bother to do this “church” thing? Most of us don’t earn any kind of financial reward from it, and most of those who are on the church payroll probably don’t always feel like they earn enough to make it worth the trouble and heartache.
My experience serving in a volunteer leadership position in the church has been very educational, humbling, delightful, and painful. If you’re anything like me, every couple of weeks of inspiration and encouragement is followed by days of doubt and defeat, days where “it just isn’t worth the trouble.” Afternoons where you sit and reflect, and figure that you must not be the right fit for the position. Nights of grief and disappointment.
Sometimes it feels like our words are homing missiles. We send them out to accomplish a mission, but they somehow come back and track us down, blowing what was meant to be something helpful into a big, confusing mess. Sometimes when we assess the intentions of those words and actions that wrought the grief and confusion, we can be surprised by what we find. Mixed with the good intentions of our hearts there is often irritation, frustration, impatience, and sometimes anger. Then there are the times when the actions and words of others have the same effect. Where does that leave us?! Grieved. Discouraged. Even defeated. We are men and women of unclean hearts and unclean lips!
Many times you may find yourself in situations where immaturity is plaguing aspects of ministry, when someone is trampling others or disregarding the gifts and callings of others. And it may be that these immaturities or unchecked weaknesses could be negatively affecting others and your own efforts to serve and thrive. I think anyone who has served with people, whether it be in the church, workforce, or home, has experienced this.
Just sit down with me over coffee. We could talk for hours. Like, I love my church, I respect my brothers and sisters there, I just can’t serve with them. You know what I mean?! I can’t lead with so-and-so. I love them, I just can’t serve with them. Heck, they don’t really even want me in this role! If they did, they’d let me do it! Or, why don’t they just tell me what they want me to do, because nothing I do seems right.
Oh man, haven’t we all been thrown under the bus a few times by the very people who were walking us across the street?! I think every friend, spouse, and parent would have to admit that we've done the same thing to the ones we love most, probably on multiple occasions. even though it is the very last thing we intended to do. Yikes.
Oh Jesus, please weep or laugh, and then touch our hearts!
What do we do with this mess? What do I do with my mess? What do I do with your mess? How do we serve as teams? How do we serve as fellow leaders? How do we follow Christ as we seek to submit to one-another in love? What does it mean to love your fellow servants in the church, and to encourage their growth and spiritual flourishing? What does it mean to persevere towards the common goal of Christ?
Recently, after some down days, I once again asked myself: why do I serve in women’s ministry (or more broadly, why do I serve in the church)? I am young. Inexperienced. Disappointed. Distracted. Blundering. And why don’t I just eat my foot, since it’s in my mouth so much anyways?!
The answer was simple and clear, the same as it’s always been: I love women. I love Jesus. Our God is so good, and he offers deep healing to those who find their rest in Him. You and I may have a lot to learn when it comes to communicating with love and wisdom. We may have the hurtful habit of naval-gazing at our own agendas and ideas, rather than appreciating one-another’s gifts and offerings. We probably all need to get more comfortable with repenting to God and each other- acknowledging when our words, actions, or lack of them has harmed one or more of our brothers and sisters.
At the end of the day, if a frustrating ministry experience leads to us entering the next chapter a humble ass instead of a honking one, I have to think that it was worth all the time and effort. If a painful relational experience leads to an increase in empathy, gentleness, and wisdom on our parts, it was worth the trial.
Remember that God works through weakness. He can be glorified even in your failures and disappointments. Hold fast to the truth. Hope in the steadfast love of our Father, the job well done by the Son, and in the fruitful workings of the Holy Spirit.
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